


Five Times Crowley Avoided Telling Aziraphale About Before the Fall, and One Time He Did.

by amateurexorcist



Series: Raphael!Crowley AUverse [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: 5 Times, Adam Young Still Has Powers (Good Omens), Because I DO WHAT I WANT, Crowley Was Raphael Before Falling (Good Omens), Established Relationship, Fallen Angels, M/M, Other, Trauma, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, and i want that headcanon, angels are agender but crow and azi use he/his pronouns, because im a dummy gay and cant write confessions, its crowley and nobody is surprised, no beta lets die, rating for refrences to falling cause that shit sounds painful, thus why i have used both m/m and other relationship tags, wow bet u cant guess what character needed that tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2020-12-21 13:27:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21075632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amateurexorcist/pseuds/amateurexorcist
Summary: "I love you too, angel." He whispered in response. The words felt wrong. Like a lie, even though he wasn't lying. He just wasn't telling the truth. Even though Aziraphale deserved to know it.





	1. 1: Sleepy Evening

**Author's Note:**

> just so yall know. i was raised catholic, but im not anymore. so thats the author's viewpoint. enjoy my bs i guess lol
> 
> (although i am ruthlessly changing most of "biblical canon". like making the archangels the highest angel, instead of seraphim. because i do what i want.
> 
> i also juggle a million headcanons and aus, often ones that contradict eachother. so thats that. crowley as raphael is really the only headcanon in this fic, but future fics can and will not contain it bc im a loser and thats just how i do

Crowley rather enjoyed being drunk. It made him feel boneless and the way that Aziraphale snuggled up against his side when they were both thoroughly intoxicated made his demonic heart beat a little bit faster in his chest.

They weren't drunk now. Not yet at least. But that didn't stop Aziraphale from curling against Crowley's body. The warmth that the angel emitted felt very pleasant on cold-blooded skin.

There was something special about their new casual intimacy. It would have been dangerous, deadly even, before the Apocalypse that failed to happen. But now they were free to press themselves together. Free for Crowley to run his hands through his angel's hair. (And since when had he begun to think of Aziraphale as being _his?_)

At the moment, he was happy to take a break from sipping wine to bury his face in Aziraphale's hair. To breathe in the smell of old paper and Aziraphale's new cologne. Because, oh Almighty he _loved _him. He loved this. He loved the lives the pair of them were allowed to lead now, by each other's side. Forever. Dining at The Ritz, drinking together, long walks in the park. They deserved it. They deserved to be together.

"Crowley?" Aziraphale broke the comfortable silence, reaching up to take one of Crowley's hands into his. Aziraphale's skin felt soft and smooth. He knew that his angel still had a fair share of calluses, but his hands were still far smoother than Crowley's own. "Could I ask you a question?"

"What is it, angel?" Crowley lifted his face out of Aziraphale's hair, resting his chin on the top of his head instead.

"What kind of angel were you before you Fell? I sort of read you as a former Seraph, at first. But then I was thinking maybe a Cherub or a Throne."

Crowley froze.

_An Archangel, the youngest of the five, extended a hand to the sky. All four of his pitch-black wings extended out behind him, casting dark shadows against the starry space around him. He called stardust to his palm, it felt warm as it condensed. Startlingly beautiful blue erupted across the cosmos before he was able to wrangle it into three separate stars. They were exact shade of one of his sibling's wings. He hoped Michael would like it, he had gotten the inspiration for the colors from them after all. _

_"Raphael." _

_The Archangel Raphael turned, giving the familiar voice a blinding smile. _

_"Lucifer, hello!" _

_Lucifer smiled, stepping up to stand beside Raphael. "I think this is one of your best stars yet, little brother. It's so... Striking." The eldest Archangel's voice was warm. Affectionate. It was a long time ago. Before Lucifer became disillusioned of Her. And before Raphael, ever enamoured with his older brother, would Fall with him. _

_"Thank you!" And, it was also before the two brothers would eventually drift apart.  
_

Crowley's tongue felt very thick and heavy in his mouth.

"Crowley, are you alright?" Aziraphale was turning to face him. He suddenly wished that he had his sunglasses on, so he could hide his eyes. It was a layer of protection, really. With the eyes being the window into the soul. "You've frozen up, and your heart is beating so fiercely."

"Mmh." He was trying to say 'I'm fine', but the words came out wrong.

"My dear, my love." Aziraphale cupped Crowley's face in both hands. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. If it makes you uncomfortable."

Nobody spoke for a moment. A moment turned into a second. A second turned into a minute. A minute turned into five.

On the fifth minute, Aziraphale leaned in to press a chaste kiss to Crowley's lips.

"I'm sorry I asked, Crowley." Aziraphale whispered, rubbing a thumb over Crowley's cheek. He leaned into the touch. It was warm. And soft. Crowley closed his eyes and let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

" 'M sorry for for spacing out on you, angel." He muttered. " 'Stupid."

"Crowley, your feelings aren't stupid." Aziraphale sighed, pressing another feather-light kiss onto Crowley's cheek. "I am not going to bring this up again, okay? Your happiness matters so, so much to me, Crowley." Aziraphale leaned in closer, so his breath puffed over Crowley's face. "I love you, my dear."

"I love you too, angel." He whispered in response. The words felt wrong. Like a lie, even though he wasn't lying. He just wasn't telling the truth. Even though Aziraphale deserved to know it.


	2. 2: Garden Snake

Sometimes, they paid a visit to Tadfield.

Aziraphale sat beside him in Anathema and Newt's garden while he spoke to the witch about her ancestor's book. It was a chilly day, so Crowley unashamedly pressed close against his side, one of the angel's arm wrapped around his chest.

Much like any reptile that had found himself in a cold place, he quickly became drowsy. He didn't quite fall asleep, but rather hovered in that position where time passed strangely before you were quite no longer awake.

"Uncle Crowley! Uncle Aziraphale! Uncle Crowley!"

He sighed and pressed his face deeper into the crick of Aziraphale's neck. The angel pressed a fleeting kiss to his forehead.

"Now, now, you two." Aziraphale scolded Adam. Crowley wondered which other member of The Them was there, only Adam had been the one to talk. "Don't bother him. He gets into a bit of a torpor when it gets cold out."

"But look what Pepper found!" Crowley cracked his eyes open and righted his sunglasses.

Pepper was holding a box. It looked just like an ordinary shoebox. His curiosity piqued, he sat a bit more upright so he could peer inside. Coiled limply along the bottom of the box was a snake. A grass snake, one of the area's nonvenomous ones. It too, much like Crowley, was incredibly tired from the cold. But it was also impossible to miss the heavy, bloody gouges across the snake's middle. Like a bird of prey had tried to fly off with it and dropped it. Which was probably what happened. It looked like a very hefty animal.

"Can you fix it?" Adam asked. "I don't know much about healing things. I'm afraid that I'll turn it into a Hydra or Basilisk or something on accident."

"Oh, I can handle that myself." Aziraphale stretched his hands out, briefly unwinding his arm from around Crowley, he carefully picked the snake up. It didn't try to fight back. Aziraphale gave the snake a small pet, as one might a dog or some other beloved pet, and snapped his fingers. At once the wounds on the grass snake disappeared, and it noticeably perked up. "There we are."

Aziraphale bent over without standing up and let the snake go. It disappeared into the bushes slowly, sluggish from the cold. The angel wrapped his arm back around Crowley, but he hardly felt it.

"I just figured Crowley would know what to do, with him being a snake demon I guess." Adam shrugged. Crowley wasn't paying much attention. "Doesn't make much sense I guess."

_"It doesn't make much sense, Raphael." Gabriel was holding what was essentially the blueprint for Raphael's first living creation. Of course, it wasn't alive yet. Only God could give life, and She had to approve of each angel's design before that. There were a lot of angels, too. It wasn't just the five of them anymore, crafting stars and planetary bodies in the great skies. "It doesn't have legs, fins, flippers, or wings. How will it move?"_

_"It wriggles on the ground, like the slugs and worms do. Only it is bigger, and not slimy at all." Raphael flicked his wings back and forth nervously, but he was still mindful enough to keep them tucked back far enough so they didn't whack Gabriel. _

_"That sounds interesting." Gabriel's own wings stayed very still, he was confident. He always had been so confident. They were like a great green cloak, all eight wings tucked neatly against his back. "What do you call it?" _

_"A snake." _

_"I'm sure the Almighty will love it, brother." Gabriel smiled as he passed the snake back to Raphael. The older archangel leaned in to ruffle Raphael's hair. "See you later." _

_Things would change so much, later on. Gabriel was practically a whole different person._

"Crowley, Crowley!" Aziraphale was holding both of his hands in his own. Anathema, Newt, Pepper, and Adam were looking on with concern.

"Whass wrong, angel." Crowley couldn't keep the hiss out of his voice.

"You stopped breathing for a moment, and when I tried to talk to you- you- you didn't respond, Crowley. I was worried." Aziraphale was still holding onto him.

"Ah, the coldsss jussst getting to me." He noticed that his glasses were folded up on a garden table next to them. He glanced over to them, so he wouldn't have to look Aziraphale in the eyes. Before, he had been telling more of a half-truth, but now he was outright lying. "I'm okay."


	3. 3: Preening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its mentioned somewhere in the good omens book that demon and angel wings are essentially the same so heres my bs
> 
> also i gave archangels four wings bc that fitted better with the way i wanted the angelic hierarchy to work. and only the archangels are related, none of the other angels are bc ew
> 
> and michael is nb sue me

Crowley knew his angel very well.

He knew the exact way that Aziraphale wriggled with excitement. And what one of his real smiles looked like and what the fake ones were. The exact way that Aziraphale would frown with concern before touching Crowley's knuckles and proceeding to worry about him. Like the time that they were cuddling or the time with the snake in Tadfield.

And he knew something was wrong with Aziraphale that day.

He finally decided to ask the angel about it when Aziraphale sat on the couch, only to cringe and inch forwards so he was sitting on the edge of his seat rather than comfortably.

Crowley settled down beside him.

He pressed a hand reassuringly on Aziraphale's back. Aziraphale gasped in pain, and Crowley jerked the hand away.

"Angel, angel what's wrong? Tell me what's wrong."

"Ah." He waved off Crowley's concern. "Just a feather got twisted around, and I couldn't quite... Reach it."

"Oh, angel... I." He paused. "I could fix it for you, if you want."

"Oh, Crowley.." Aziraphale turned and gave him one of his bright, eye-to-eye real smiles. "You're so kind."

"Nah, don't mention it." Crowley couldn't resist giving Aziraphale a peck on the cheek, not that he had ever been good at resisting things he wanted to do. "Let me see it."

"It's one of the scapulars on the upper right wing." Aziraphale turned around on the couch and hunched over. He extended his wings slowly, letting them curve off to the side instead of straight back. Crowley could see the feather that he was talking about, nestled in the shoulder joint. It was practically flipped all the way around. Crowley reached out and turned it the right way.

Aziraphale let out a sigh of relief. Crowley smiled and ran a hand over the top of one of Aziraphale's wings, admiring them. Being a Principality, his angel had two sets of wings. The lowest and most common angels, the ones that just were called Angels, had one pair of wings. Principalities, Powers, Virtues, and Dominions had two. Thrones, Cherubim, and Seraphim had three. And of course, the five sibling Archangels had four.

And they were so... White and fluffy. He rubbed a thumb over one of the primaries. Every angel, including the fallen kind, had unique wings. Sometimes wings looked similar, but next to each other one could always tell them apart. Crowley couldn't find any shades of gray or brown in the wings. Or the smallest streak of color. They were purely, completely white.

Almost like they were in contrast with his own.

He was losing himself in memories again. In a rather similar situation. Just a bit switched around.

_"Oh my. Raphael. Brother." Michael sighed. "What did you do to get your feathers so ruffled?" _

_"...'Wrestled Uriel." Raphael dipped his head. Michael tsked. "She won." _

_"You two are always getting into trouble." Michael sighed as they righted one of Raphael's feathers. _

_"Sorry." _

_Michael snorted, but there was no bitterness to it. The older Archangel worked quickly, fixing Raphael's feathers. It look a little while, since all eight of Raphael's wings were a mess. As soon as they were done, Michael stood. _

_"At least you didn't get yourself hurt." They sighed. "You can be so... Reckless. It worries me sometimes."_

_"Sorry, Michael." He smirked. "That's just my stellar personality."_

_They gave him an exhausted smile and hugged him over the shoulder. "Stay safe, little brother." _

_He glanced over Michael's shoulder. Just over the top of one of their striking blue wings, he could see Uriel waving. _

_"No promises!"_

"Everything alright, Crowley?"

"Oh me?" He brought himself back to the present. "Just... A bit distracted. Your wings are so beautiful."

Aziraphale turned around and smiled. "You really think so? I've always found them a little bland. All of the other Principalities have some color to them. And even the regular-old Angels have some specks of brown or gray."

"Oh, they are ssstunning." He leaned in, hissing against Aziraphale's cheek. "Like ssstardusst."


	4. 4: Flight

Crowley hadn't flown in a very long time.

He had no need to, being on Earth. And even demons in hell and angels in heaven started to prefer walking eventually. So he was surprised when Aziraphale asked the question.

"I hear Tadfield is lovely this time of year." The angel said slowly, setting down the book he had been reading. Crowley blinked up at him from where his head was pillowed on Aziraphale's lap.

"Hm?"

"Well, Tadfield always has nice weather these days, thanks to Adam. But its very nice these past few months. Good for a day outdoors, or an evening. Or a night." Aziraphale rambled, running his hands absently through Crowley's hair.

"What are you getting at, angel?"

"We could go for a fly out there. In the wooded places, the humans would be none the wiser."

_"Come on, Raphael!" Uriel tugged him along, ignoring Michael's exasperated sigh. "Let's go!"_

_"Where are we going?"_

_"Just for a fly! The others can handle without us for a little bit." _

_He tugged his arm out of her grip. "I can't. We can't. Things are too tense right now. With Lucifer stirring trouble." _

_"That's exactly why we need it, Raph. We need a break!" She was smiling. It was the last time he had seen her smile. "Let's gooooooo." _

_He grinned and proceeded to tackle her off of the cloud they were standing on. She let out a yelp of surprise followed by laughter. Uriel snapped her bright violet wings open before she could fall more than a few yards. She flapped up to him and gave him a shove in the chest. _

_"Jerk." She snorted with no malice in her voice, but plenty of sarcasm. "You could have killed me."_

_"Aw, come on." He cuffed her shoulder. "Nobody's gotten hurt from taking a tumble off of the clouds, you won't be the first." _

_"Hmf." She glanced away from him, feigning hurt before glancing back as she pointed to a nearby formation. But really it was more partially-building partially-ground. "Race you to that Cloudspire over there!" _

_"You're on!" He tucked his wings into his sides to glide part of the distance, building up speed. But despite that Uriel still beat him. Her wings were larger and broader, better for sheer speed across a flat plane. His were more narrow and long, if they had been racing between and around clouds he would have won._

_"Hah!" She landed next to the spire. "I win! You lose!" _

_"Funny. You're laughing at me." He rolled his eyes, a smile on his face. "This is bullying."_

_"Its not bullying if its true!" She spun around on her heel with an extravagant gesture. "And it is true! I beat you because I'm faster and older." _

_"The Almighty made me right after she made you!" He nudged her shoulder. "That's hardly anything considering how long the others were spaced out, and how long it was until she made more angels after us." _

_"I'm still oldest. I still win." She flicked her wings back. Her happy grin quickly disappeared as her eyes fixed on something over Crowley's shoulder.  
_

_"Uriel? Are you okay?" _

_"....Oh Almighty save us." _

_Crowley turned around. _

"Oh uh, I dunno angel." Crowley closed his eyes, trying to keep a nonchalant air. Trying to keep the bile at the back of his throat down. "I'm just... I dunno. I don't like flying. We can go and I can just watch, if you want."

He can't let Aziraphale see his wings, even if he doesn't reveal all eight of them. He still might recognize the color and connect the dots. He knew that Aziraphale had seen them, but that was just once and it was over 6000 years ago.

Aziraphale sighed. "Well, its no fun if we both don't fly. So... We can just stay in London I suppose. We don't need to."

Crowley could hear the disappointment that was practically soaking his angel's words. Aziraphale must have really been looking forward to it. He felt bad. So, so bad for upsetting him. But-

Aziraphale couldn't know. Nobody could know. Aziraphale would be mad that he lied and would never talk to him again. And if Hell found out they would try to drag him back. And he didn't know what Heaven would do but he knew it wouldn't be good.

So he... Yeah. Fuck. He had to hide it. It was for the best.


	5. 5: Nightmare/The Fall

_Heaven was on fire. _

_Raphael wasn't quite sure how clouds could burn, considering that they were made of water. But they were. They were definitely on fire. The smoke was just a few shades darker than the clouds themselves, billowing higher up into the sky than he had gone since he made the stars. _

_Uriel took off, the loud boom that only the beat of eight wings could make cut through the silence. They were far enough from the burning area that they couldn't hear the screams. Not yet. But as Raphael scrambled to follow his sister, he started to hear them. _

_Archangels could fly very quickly on account of having four sets of wings, so it didn't take them long to get there. _

_There was a lot of screaming, and smoke obscured most of his vision. He coughed into his fist and looked around. _

_Where was Uriel? _

_He couldn't see her. He'd lost her in the smoke. Raphael scrambled to the side as two angels nearly crashed into him. He recognized the Seraphs Sandalphon and Bablion, the pair of them were going at each other, striking with their wings and fists. He thought he could see their dropped swords a few feet away. _

_He knew what was happening. Lucifer and his stupid, stupid rebellion. Not only had he pitted the angels against each other, but he'd somehow managed to set Heaven on fire. He had to find him. _

_Before he could, though, Bablion and Sandalphon split up for a moment. Bablion, who had always been Lucifer's right hand, looked worse for wear. They were clutching their side in agony when the clouds beneath them just... Disappeared. _

_The Seraph let out a yell of surprise, and threw out their wings to take flight, but they didn't. Instead they began to plummet, down, down, down._

_He had to find Lucifer **now.** _

_Raphael scrambled to his feet and looked up. There. Through the smoke, a distant while away he could see where the fire burned hotter and brighter than anywhere else. That was there Lucifer would be, he always had to be at the center of it all. He started to run, not wanting to risk flying and crashing into something that he couldn't see. _

_The smoke was burning his lungs. Raphael had felt pain before, sure. Once he had been startled while flying and crashed into Uriel. One of his wings had been pinned between their bodies, and the fragile bones broke. But Raphael had always been a healer, so that had been an easy fix. But no matter how many miracles he poured into the pain in his lungs, the burning did not go away. Probably because he was actively inhaling the smoke. _

_"Lucifer!" He yelled. Raphael could see a pair of scarlet wings through the smoke. "Lucifer!" _

_His older brother turned to face him, and then stumbled. The clouds gave out beneath his feet. _

_"No!" He couldn't let his brother go too, like Bablion had. Raphael lunged, grasping out in desperation. He managed to grab onto Lucifer's forearm and immediately let out a wheeze. _

_It was like his brother weighed ten times what he actually did, which was probably why Bablion hadn't been able to fly away. If whatever was happening to the rebels made them so heavy. It felt like his shoulder was going to pop from its socket. _

_"Raphael?" Lucifer's voice sounded hoarse. Pained. Agonized._

_'Why?' He sent up the feverish prayer. 'How can you do this to them? What have they done to you?' And as if what he had already sent up to the Almighty wasn't enough to damn him, 'What is wrong with you? To do this to your own creations.' _

_The clouds beneath Raphael gave out and he was in a free-fall. _

_Liquid fire erupted along his bones, and he thought that just maybe Lucifer hadn't been the one to set Heaven on fire, that just maybe God had done it. He screamed. But he could hardly hear himself over the screams of the others. But the worst part of it all, was the sudden emptiness in his chest where God's grace used to be. It hollowed him out, like somehow had taken a hook and ripped his insides out._

_He didn't know how long he had been falling for. Or, Falling. With the capital F. It had all faded together into a blur. Darkness pressed in against his eyelids. The pain hadn't dulled or lessened, but he began to be able to ignore it. Just when he had adjusted to it, it changed. _

_Boiling sulfur. It seared into him. And he felt it twist him, warp him. He'd already been changed, having had his grace taken away. But this time it was his physical appearance that was altered. His eyes burnt and the inside of his mouth ached. He lashed out around him. Feeling for anything, anything he could grasp onto. _

_He couldn't. _

_He was alone, in the center of a pool of boiling sulfur. _

_He was going to drown. He was going to die. He-_

Crowley sprung upright, clutching at his own throat. 

He squeezed his eyes shut.

"Crowley, my love, what happened!?"

Aziraphale touched his shoulder. He flinched at the contact. The angel jerked his hand back, like he was afraid that he had hurt Crowley.

They sat in silence for a very long time. Crowley finally cracked his eyes open and turned to face Aziraphale. He couldn't bear to look him in the eyes. The dream had been more like a memory, and he could remember a time before he had the snake eyes. He didn't want Aziraphale to see how demonic he was. 

"Just a nightmare, angel." He croaked, rubbing his throat. It felt sore. "A bad one."

"...Are you okay with telling me what it was about." Aziraphale took his hand slowly.

"The Fall." He stared at their joined hands. His hands, at least, looked normal. Humanish. Angelish. Not very demonic. He was regretting painting the nails black now, though.

"Oh... my dear." He whispered. "My dear, beloved Crowley." Aziraphale paused. "I'm so sorry about what happened to you. I wish I could have done something to help you."

"There wasn't anything you could do. S' not your fault, angel." Crowley should know. He'd tried to help someone. It was impossible.

"I still wish you hadn't had to go through that." Aziraphale rubbed a thumb over the back of his hand.

"You wouldn't like who I probably would be if I hadn't Fallen."

"I love you, my dear. You're a demon and I don't love you any less for it." Aziraphale moved one of his hands to wipe Crowley's cheek. He hadn't realized that he'd been crying. "I just wish that Falling had been easier on you."

They were silent for a while longer.

Aziraphale never brought Crowley's comment about who he would have been unFallen again.


	6. And 1: Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> azira pov!

"Angel."

Aziraphale looked up from the book he had been reading, _Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde_, and set it aside. Crowley looked upset about something, he wouldn't meet his eyes, and was even wearing his sunglasses. When it was just the two of them, Crowley only wore them when he wasn't doing well. Which meant something was wrong.

  
"What is it, dear?" He stood up. The demon didn't move. "Are you okay?"

"Ngh." Crowley grunted and glanced off of to the side. "I need to tell you something. Or show you. Its easier to just show you. I don't know if I'll be able to make myself tell you if I gotta say it out loud."

"My dear, are you alright?" He strode over to him and put a hand on Crowley's forearm. The demon didn't react.

"I gotta show you, Aziraphale." Something was definitely wrong. Crowley hadn't called him by his name in a long time. "If you're mad that I hid it from you, I understand. Or if you don't want to see me anymore, I understand that too. After this, I'll leave if you want me to. Whatever you need me to do, I'll do it. I just can't hide the truth from you anymore."

"Crowley, what are you on about?" Crowley jolted out of Aziraphale's grip, taking a few long strides back. It put a good couple of meters between them.

"Turn around, angel. Please." The demon ran a hand through his hair, like he needed something to distract himself with. "And only look back at me when I say so, okay?" The hand Crowley was carding through his own hair tightened. It looked painful. "Please."

"Okay, okay." Aziraphale spun on his heel, turning his back onto Crowley. "Do whatever it is you need to do, my dear."

He could hear Crowley letting out a pained sigh behind him. Only a few seconds passed, and then Aziraphale felt something in the air shift. The hair on the back of his neck stood up. It was the same way he felt whenever Crowley changed into his snake form or otherwise changed his corporation. Something was different now. Crowley sighed again, this time more in resignation, and Aziraphale heard a ruffle of feathers.

"You can turn around now."

He did.

Crowley had his wings out and his back to Aziraphale and- _oh_

Well, nobody in Heaven really did know what had happened to Raphael. The general consensus was that he was either brooding in space, dead, or spreading angelic healing on Earth. Either of the options where he was still alive meant he was also distancing himself as far as he could from the other angels, that he wanted nothing to do with Heaven anymore.

It turned out that none of those theories were correct.

Right after the Fall, a few angels did suggest that he could have Fallen, but they didn't talk about it much because Gabriel threatened to throw those certain angels off of the clouds. And shortly after, it was generally agreed that he couldn't have Fallen, because if he had he would be a Price of Hell alongside Dagon and Beelzebub and Hell certainly would be boasting about it.

Of course, nobody took into account the possibility that Hell just didn't know either.

Crowley had his wings out, _all eight _of them. They were as black as the space between the stars at night. And now that Aziraphale thought back on it, even though he had only seen Raphael twice and from a distance, he definitely had red hair.

"You're Ra-"

"Don't say that name, Aziraphale. Please just don't. I'm not that angel anymore." Crowley rushed the words out, talking quickly.

"Crowley." Aziraphale couldn't think of anything else to say. The demon hunched into himself at his name.

"I'll go. If you want me to. You'll never see me again unless you decide to, I'll leave you alone, angel. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do." He rambled.

"Oh my dear, beloved Crowley." Aziraphale walked over to his beloved. He reached out a hand to stroke the feathers on one of Crowley's uppermost wings. It twitched beneath his hand. "I love you. Nothing will change that. Not this."

"Angel-"

"I can see why you hid this from me, my love." He pressed a kiss to a wing joint. "I don't blame you. I forgive you." He paused. "Turn around please, my dear."

Crowley moved slowly, clamping his wings tight over his back to keep them from bumping Aziraphale. He took the demon's face between his hands, rubbing his thumbs over his cheekbones. He moved one of his hands away to pluck Crowley's sunglasses off and set them down off to the side. 

"You're so wonderful my dear." Aziraphale whispered. "So brave and kind. And so, so beautiful. Your wings are stunning."

"You're too kind to me, angel." Crowley pressed his face into Aziraphale's shoulder. He lifted a hand to run it through the red locks.

"I'm really not, my love." Aziraphale pressed a kiss onto Crowley's shoulder. "You deserve all of it. You do, my love."

Crowley nuzzled into Aziraphale's neck and opened his wings. They spread wide and wrapped around them both. They were so dark and dense that they easily blocked the outside light.

"I love you, angel." Crowley whispered, Aziraphale could feel the puff of his breath against his throat. "I wish I told you sooner, instead of dodging it. We could have gone flying together."

"We still can, my dear." Aziraphale smiled. He was glad to have this. And lucky too. Out of all the people Crowley could have fallen in love with, it was him. "We have eternity, after all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS DONE!
> 
> there is a sequel in the works! its about gabriel being a dumbass and also having a crisis of faith, so that sucks for him


End file.
